* 43% of all statistics are worthless
* 7/5th of all people do not understand fractions
* A bicycle can't stand on its own because it's two-tired
* A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
* A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody has.
* A clean tie attracts the soup of the day.
* A Committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but as a group decide that nothing can be done.
* A computer beat me at chess once. But, it was no match for me at kick boxing.
* A conservative is a politician who wants to keep what the liberals fought for a generation ago.
* A diplomatic husband said to his wife, "How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older?"
* A dog who attends a flea circus most likely will steal the whole show.
* After all is said and done, more is said than done.
* After hearing two eyewitness accounts of the same accident, you begin to wonder about history.
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